Spike's Onion Blossom Thing Petals

I almost burnt the house down in an attempt to make "blooming onion things". It was entirely my fault. I was in a hurry and wasn't thinking. In short, I used a pot that was far too small ("oh, this is the perfect size for this onion!"). I filled it with oil. I brought that oil to 375° F. I proceeded to lower a battered onion into that oil. That oil all poured over the edge of the pot and onto the flame underneath the pot.

Fortunately, though I made a stupid error in judgment, which I wouldn't have made had I taken a little more time, I was able to reach up and flip the knob, cutting the flame. Fire averted, but damage done. I watched helplessly as the onion - root side up, thank you Spike - sizzled slightly in what shallow pool of oil remained in the pot.

Defeated, I headed in to take a shower before cleaning up the 3/4 of a bottle of vegetable oil that was hanging out in the wells and the underside of my stove. I carefully set the gloppy onion blossom into the trash. And I gave up for a week and a half (although rain and sickness had a lot to do with letting this idea hang out on the backburner for a while).

But here I am, with the Buffy-inspired recipe that I've been wanting to make for years. I have a handful of others I've brainstormed, but I knew this one had to be my first. Inspired by a conversation in season 7, episode 19 about covert operatives, curly fries, and "onion blossom things" between (my favorite Buffy character) Spike and Andrew...Spike being quite the connoisseur.

'I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good.'
'Not as good as those onion blossom things.'
'Oh, I love those.'
'Yeah, me too.'
'It's an onion and it's a flower. I-I don't understand how such a thing is possible.'
'Well, you see, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour, so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it root side up for about five minutes.'
'Masterful.'
'Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.'

(Buffy the Vampire Slayer, S7:E19)

When I decided to finally head back into the kitchen to tackle the blossom, I changed things up a bit. I went for "petals", as opposed to the whole blossom. They're easier to make, and they're easier to eat. And they're every bit as delicious. I think Spike would still love them.

I hope you'll go over and check out the Chaos Demon Cupcakes that Kimberly from Coffee and Casseroles concocted, also in honor of something Spike said.

Yield: serves 4-6

Author: Heather Schmitt-Gonzalez

prep time: 1 H & 10 Mcook time: 10 Mtotal time: 1 H & 20 M

This recipe for fried onion petals is similar to a Bloomin' Onion or Awesome Blossom, but much easier to make and eat.

ingredients:

2 large sweet onions
1 1/2 cups seasoned buttermilk*
2 cups seasoned all-purpose flour*
vegetable oil, for frying
*to season buttermilk and flour: smoked paprika, garlic powder, onion powder, mustard powder, parsley flakes, fine grain sea salt, ground black or white pepper

instructions:

How to cook Spike's Onion Blossom Thing Petals

Prepare the onions by slicing off the root and flower end and peeling. Then cut each onion into 1/2-inch petals (or wedges). Place into a quart-sized zippered baggie. Add buttermilk and as much of the seasonings as you'd like. Seal and squish around. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour, but up to 8 hours, before proceeding.
When you're ready to fry your onions, tip them out into a medium-mesh wire strainer set over the sink. Make sure none of the onions are stuck together, you want individual petals. Do not rinse the onions.
Place the flour in a large bowl and season as you like. Transfer the drained onion petals to the seasoned flour and toss to coat (a large, serving-sized fork works well here). Rinse and dry the strainer.
Pour about 1 1/2-2 inches of oil into a deep skillet and set over medium-high heat until "shimmering" (technically, probably about 350-375° F on a thermometer).
While the oil is heating, set the dry strainer over a clean bag, then pour the onions into the strainer. Shake and toss to coat, allowing the flour to fall into the bag. If you like, toss again, using the same method.

Add a handful of the coated onion petals to the hot oil, taking care not to crowd the pan. Fry until golden, 1-2 minutes. Use a slotted metal spatula to lift out and onto a paper towel-lined plate. Repeat until all of the onion petals are fried. You may need to adjust the heat and wait a minute or two between frying batches, allowing the heat to stay at an even temperature.
Serve as-is, or with your choice of dipping sauce (such as the copycat Bloomin' Onion Sauce in the notes below).

NOTES:

Copycat Outback Bloomin' Onion Dipping Sauce
yield: ~1/2 cup

1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons prepared horseradish
1 tablespoon ketchup
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon onion powder
1/8 teaspoon ground white pepper

Combine all of the ingredients in a bowl and stir. Store in covered in fridge for up to 5 days.

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Spike's Onion Blossom Thing Petals | Buffy the Vampire Slayer